Saturday, November 26, 2005




Early Friday morning; as the Thanksgiving revelers dreamt of leftovers and the pre-dawn shoppers lined up in parking lots all across town, we had our first significant snowfall of the winter season. Sometime around 3 AM a heavy band of snow moved in to sugar coat the trees and transform this drab brown landscape into a winter wonderland. By the time employees threw open the doors of shopping kingdoms all across the area eager shoppers shook off their layer of snow and rushed inside like the bitter chill on a January winter’s day.

I awoke Friday morning to the familiar sounds of winter… snowblowers casting long white trails into the grey winter sky… shovels scraping across icy sidewalks… and children playing in the first snowfall of the season. There is something magical about that first snowfall; the way it transforms the landscape, how clean and stark the city appears, and the memories of past winters that come rushing back. As I gazed out my window two men were laboring to propel sleds filled with giggling children gleefully urging their steeds on, “Come on daddy, hurry up!” Despite faces red from cold and exertion the men smiled and forged ahead, laughter trailing behind them. Perhaps they were counting their blessing at getting the better end of the bargain... while wives battled the mayhem at local shopping inane asylums.

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, gathered around a table laden with more food than a group twice our size could consume. The turkey, sliced and dissected, steamed on the platter hemmed in on one side by a bowl heaped with garlic mashed potatoes and a plate laden with sweet potato balls on the other. Way on the other end of the table a multicolored container of stuffing kept company with a wooden salad bowl filled with a variety of vegetables. A trail of gluttony ran all along the edge of the table and it seemed there was always something being moved along this happy trail… there was a basket of crescent rolls, a plate of lefse being chased by the butter and sugar bowl, and all the bowls and platters that ran endlessly along this track until someone begged for a cessation of eating opportunities.

It was my daughter the dancer, environmentalist, and social activist who spoke her conscience. “This seems almost criminal when we think of all the folks along the path of Katrina and Rita who have no home never mind money for a feast like this.” This elicited all sorts of comments and discussions. I remember my parents warning me that there were children starving in Korea whenever I left food on my plate (some things don’t change do they?). My son in-law mentioned that there are plenty of agencies, public and private, striving to help those affected by the hurricanes. Discussion ensued that covered the state of the nation, the disasters visited humanity over the past year, and how helpless individual members of a society can feel when faced with the overwhelming needs of society.

It is amazing how a conversation like this can affect one’s appetite. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we had done the damage to the feast before this conversation ensued. Yet still there lingered a sense of gluttony and the desire to accomplish some sort of positive deed to assuage the woes of the world. We sat for awhile letting the conversation wander away from the tender topic of human need. Suddenly my eldest daughter piped up and said, “How about Jimmy Johnson? Is he still living across the street?”

Jim “Jimmy” Johnson was from Appleton, Wisconsin and had moved to our fair city after returning from World War II. He bought a home in our neighborhood with money from the Veteran’s Administration and settled in with his beautiful bride Elizabeth, “Lizzy” Peterson. After several miscarriages Lizzy finally gave birth to a son, Peter John Johnson (I hear he never used his middle name). Lizzy quit her job teaching to raise her son while Jimmy got a promotion at the local Case Tractor and Farm Machinery factory. In 1982 Lizzy was diagnosed with breast cancer and died before year’s end. Peter lived in Omaha and visited often but never married. In 1993, at the tender age of forty-one, Peter died of heart failure.

Jimmy remained in the neighborhood, becoming a handyman after retiring in the late 90’s. He’d been over to our place a few times to lay some carpeting, put in a doorframe and door for my son’s room, and paint some trim around the house. But for the last few years we’ve seen less and less of ol’ Jimmy Johnson from Appleton, Wisconsin. It seemed we all had the same idea but no one wanted to deliver on it. It’s so easy to neglect those nearest to us while stressing over the needs of folks hundreds or thousands of miles away whose faces and plights have been brought front and center by the media. After lamenting that we should have invited Jimmy over for Thanksgiving we debated bringing a plate of food over to Jimmy. There were a number of reasons why we shouldn’t… his pride, his diet, his health, we weren’t even sure if he was around… but in the end fixing him a plate seemed like the right thing to do.

No one wanted to be the lone stranger delivering a plate of leftovers so we all decided to head over. It must have looked a bit silly, all six of us standing on Jimmy crumbling steps with a Tupperware container in my wife’s hands. There was a light in the living room and Jimmy came to the door dressed in his finest. He had recently returned from a feast at the local senior citizen’s center and he graciously invited us in. I don’t think that living room had seen so much company for years as we occupied every chair, couch cushion, and even a spot on the threadbare, beige, shag… I really didn’t mind as it made me feel right at home after all those years as a preschool teacher. We didn’t stay long really, and it was a bit awkward at first as we stared and filled the void with “umms” and “Well…” But my love is a master of conversation and soon Jimmy was showing us old family photographs and reliving Thanksgiving Day’s “on the Front.”

We left promising to visit again and Jimmy’s eyes seemed a bit moist as he thanked us again for the plate of leftovers. Something so simple yet so difficult. We didn’t solve world peace, ease the hunger pangs of the millions in our country alone, or even reach the thousnads in our own town. The pain and suffering of humanity rolled on and we didn’t do anything grand or heroic. So why did I feel lighter and walk with a jaunty air as we traversed the short distance back to our home? Sometimes all the problems and catastrophes of the world can seem so overwhelming that I just want to pull the covers over my head and surrender. But then there are moments when I manage to step away from my own sphere of self-interest and problems to realize that sometimes all I can do is bring a little joy, light a little candle in the life of someone so near I can touch them… if I just reach out. It may not change the world, but it can change one world. One world, one life at a time, sometimes it’s enough.

Thanks for stopping by, it makes the place feel like home to have your presence warming these cyberwalls. Be well… achieve excellence… keep in touch. Take care of each other, it can change a life… or two.

“Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.”-“H. Jackson Brown Jr. "Life’s Little Instruction Book”

17 Comments:

Blogger Theresa Williams said...

"A sense of gluttony"--hahahahahaha ha haha haha hahahaha ha hahaha haha ha ha That is so cute. Glad you had a nice break. We got lots of snow, too. I liked it. I love the dark days of winter.

7:15 PM

 
Blogger Gabreael said...

Man, everyone is writing about their snow this weekend. Sadly it was a stinking 70* on Thanksgiving day in SC. Here in NC it's been around 60*.

Snowless In Wilmington

11:45 PM

 
Blogger V said...

This is a beautifully written entry. Thanks.

In my childhood, the "starving children" were in Europe.

V

5:10 AM

 
Blogger Judith HeartSong said...

happy thanksgiving and be well my friend:)

6:16 AM

 
Blogger valphish said...

awww, Michael, you did it to me again. You made me misty eyed. I try to do a little something for my elderly or sick neighbors now and again. I am sure this meant more to your neighbor than you know! Take care, my friend!! xox

6:32 AM

 
Blogger onecrazymomto5 said...

I'm glad you had a great Thanksgiving with the family!! If everyone would do something in their power to change one persons world this world would be be a much better and happier place!!
Colleen

9:36 AM

 
Blogger Sassy said...

Greetings Michael~I have found you in your new home! Thanks for the encouragement you gave me through your writing about the lovliness of the first snowfall. I am a bit afraid of it as I sit waiting in PA cuz I have not dealt with snow for the 30 or so years I lived in CA! Sounds like a rousing conversation at the TG table; just my kind of talk!...Re. grading..wondering at what level you teach? I have taught Special Ed from pre-k to young adult in the past. (Right now I am revaluating what the heck I want to teach/do!) My sister teaches 4th (used to be Sp Ed but got burnt out). My Mom taught pre-K for many years before she retired. If I had to guess I'd say you teach HS or college level? Did I flunk or pass? ;-) Sassy

11:53 AM

 
Blogger Carly said...

Michael this is an amazing entry :)

Always, Carly

3:04 AM

 
Blogger ~ Lori said...

Well there you are! I'm happy to have found you again. Love your new space. So glad to see you're still writing my friend!

10:47 AM

 
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

This article seems to suit your site theme.


adhd and the brain
http://www.theadhdspecialist.com

Children with ADHD

There is a perplexing state of affairs in today's society, there lies a strong correlation between the affluence of a society and the amount of disease that is present. There is also another correlation that troubles many a people and that is with affluence comes disease at an Earlier age.

Working with children and the parents of these children I often get asked the question, 'Why are Children with ADHD on the increase?'

The answer as you shall find is one that is both interesting and challenging.

Children of today are really no more different from the children of yesterday in terms of genetic makeup. However, if you examine the issue more closely you will tend to find that many children today have been given labels. For example, 'Oh, those are children with ADHD' or 'Those are the children who can't sit still.' Or 'That is the kid that always gets into trouble.'

These labels are not only destructive but also become a self fulfilling prophecy as it is repeated adnauseum.

So as a 21st century parent or a parent with a child with ADHD or a parent with children with ADHD, what knowledge framework do you need to equip yourself with to ensure your children live out their true potential?

Here is a quick reference list for thinking about ADHD
� ADHD is a source of great frustration because it is misunderstood
� ADHD medications are a great short term time buying device and should be avoided long term
� The above point goes for any sort of drug consumption. Think about it for a minute. Unless you have a biochemical deficiency in your body like Type 1 diabetes where your body fails to produce enough insulin or any at all, why would you take an external drug? A body that is in balance is totally healthy. It is only when the body is out of balance that dis-ease symptoms start to creep up.
� ADHD is a biochemical imbalance of the mind and body.
� The Head of Psychiatry in Harvard states that drugs for ADHD simply mask the effects of ADHD. It does not cure ADHD. This is an important point because a cure implies never to have to take the medication. This means that once you start on medication you will have to be on it for the rest of your life i.e. you have medically acquired a dependency for a biochemical imbalance. That is like stuffing all your rubbish (problematic behaviors) into a closet (medication) where no one can see it. But if you continue to stuff more rubbish into that closet, one day you will not have enough space and need to do one of two things. You either empty the rubbish (the natural conclusion) or you get a bigger closet (i.e. change to stronger medication to control the symptoms). The choice is obvious but sometimes when you don't have the necessary tools to deal with ADHD you tend to think the bigger closet is the only option.
� ADHD children are super sensitive to the emotions around them. Often they pick up emotional cues from their parents without realizing. Many parents come home frustrated or annoyed from work, the child with ADHD picks this up and starts to 'cause trouble' by becoming restless. Parents frustration increase because they just want some peace and quiet. They get angry which in turn is picked up by the child who then intensifies their activity. Things get way out of hand and some sort of punishment is handed down to the child who has no idea what just happened. The cycle repeats itself every so often.
� Our brains are wired emotionally. Positive praise is interpreted as an analytical/thinking exercise. Negative criticism including scolding, name calling, physical punishment all go directly to the emotional brain of children with ADHD. This means in order to ensure you get your message across in the most optimal way, you need to learn how to communicate with your ADHD children the way they like to be communicated with.
� Every negative comment requires 16 positive comments to neutralize the emotion. Save yourself the frustration and agitation by practicing positive communication.

The list is by no means complete. In dealing with children with ADHD there are a certain set of behavioural principles to follow. I will detail these steps in the coming weeks. I'll also build on the list as you continue to learn about what appears to be a mystical disorder known as 'Children with ADHD'

4:34 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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eldridge north scott press
eldridge north scott press

Children with ADHD

There is a perplexing state of affairs in today's society, there lies a strong correlation between the affluence of a society and the amount of disease that is present. There is also another correlation that troubles many a people and that is with affluence comes disease at an Earlier age.

Working with children and the parents of these children I often get asked the question, 'Why are Children with ADHD on the increase?'

The answer as you shall find is one that is both interesting and challenging.

Children of today are really no more different from the children of yesterday in terms of genetic makeup. However, if you examine the issue more closely you will tend to find that many children today have been given labels. For example, 'Oh, those are children with ADHD' or 'Those are the children who can't sit still.' Or 'That is the kid that always gets into trouble.'

These labels are not only destructive but also become a self fulfilling prophecy as it is repeated adnauseum.

So as a 21st century parent or a parent with a child with ADHD or a parent with children with ADHD, what knowledge framework do you need to equip yourself with to ensure your children live out their true potential?

Here is a quick reference list for thinking about ADHD
� ADHD is a source of great frustration because it is misunderstood
� ADHD medications are a great short term time buying device and should be avoided long term
� The above point goes for any sort of drug consumption. Think about it for a minute. Unless you have a biochemical deficiency in your body like Type 1 diabetes where your body fails to produce enough insulin or any at all, why would you take an external drug? A body that is in balance is totally healthy. It is only when the body is out of balance that dis-ease symptoms start to creep up.
� ADHD is a biochemical imbalance of the mind and body.
� The Head of Psychiatry in Harvard states that drugs for ADHD simply mask the effects of ADHD. It does not cure ADHD. This is an important point because a cure implies never to have to take the medication. This means that once you start on medication you will have to be on it for the rest of your life i.e. you have medically acquired a dependency for a biochemical imbalance. That is like stuffing all your rubbish (problematic behaviors) into a closet (medication) where no one can see it. But if you continue to stuff more rubbish into that closet, one day you will not have enough space and need to do one of two things. You either empty the rubbish (the natural conclusion) or you get a bigger closet (i.e. change to stronger medication to control the symptoms). The choice is obvious but sometimes when you don't have the necessary tools to deal with ADHD you tend to think the bigger closet is the only option.
� ADHD children are super sensitive to the emotions around them. Often they pick up emotional cues from their parents without realizing. Many parents come home frustrated or annoyed from work, the child with ADHD picks this up and starts to 'cause trouble' by becoming restless. Parents frustration increase because they just want some peace and quiet. They get angry which in turn is picked up by the child who then intensifies their activity. Things get way out of hand and some sort of punishment is handed down to the child who has no idea what just happened. The cycle repeats itself every so often.
� Our brains are wired emotionally. Positive praise is interpreted as an analytical/thinking exercise. Negative criticism including scolding, name calling, physical punishment all go directly to the emotional brain of children with ADHD. This means in order to ensure you get your message across in the most optimal way, you need to learn how to communicate with your ADHD children the way they like to be communicated with.
� Every negative comment requires 16 positive comments to neutralize the emotion. Save yourself the frustration and agitation by practicing positive communication.

The list is by no means complete. In dealing with children with ADHD there are a certain set of behavioural principles to follow. I will detail these steps in the coming weeks. I'll also build on the list as you continue to learn about what appears to be a mystical disorder known as 'Children with ADHD'

10:02 PM

 
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